Donkey Kong, weighing in at damn near 800 pounds, started off on the far left of Hyrule Castle, just to the right of where the level slants downward. Jigglypuff, who might weigh eight pounds soaking wet, was only a few feet to his immediate right.
3...2...1... GO!
Donkey Kong started charging his punch right off the bat. Just as quickly, Jigglypuff had dashed over the meager distance between them and tackled him onto the sloped roof of the castle. Like a giant ape swatting away airplanes, or a modestly-sized ape swatting away flies, Donkey Kong countered Jigglypuff's puny attack with overwhelming force. He executed his spinning-split downward smash attack and followed it straight up by pounding the ground like a conga drum. Jigglypuff popped up overhead, where DK clapped his oversized mitts together and sent her flying and crying into the air with a total 50% damage. Donkey Kong was still only suffering the 8% he'd taken from Jigglypuff's initial attack. Things only got worse for Jigglypuff from there, so if for some odd reason you're rooting for her, you might want to skip the next few paragraphs.
A green Koopa shell appeared next to Donkey Kong as he charged his punch and waited for Jigglypuff to come back to solid ground. He picked the shell and chucked it into the air at Jigglypuff, but she zigged and zagged through the air on her descent and avoided the green missile. When she finally touched ground she nearly gave the ape what-for! Nearly. Her attack, which started with a smash kick and a "Puff!" punch attack, was stopped short by the predictable effect of gravity on the shell. It hit the ground safely enough, but the sloped roof caused it to roll from there right into Jigglypuff, and the collision sent her into the air off the left edge.
Jigglypuff wasn't knocked so far that she couldn't easily float back to the level, but it was apparently a long enough wait that Donkey Kong got bored and aimed to cure that boredom by charging up his mega punch and tossing the green shell playfully up into the air. Either time wears pretty heavily on that guy, or it was all part of his master plan. The shell trick worked out smashingly for him (no pun intended [okay maybe just a little]), because when Jigglypuff made her way back to the level and tried to drop in on DK from above, the shell landed smack on the top of her big round head, and she bolted straight into the edge. Donkey Kong taunted like the damned dirty ape that he is, with that Egyptian dance that was popularized by The Bangles in the 1980's, and he went into round two with only 47% on his record.
Once Jigglypuff returned to the battle, the monkey realized that there was a valuable Heart in the middle of the level, just under the tall tower in the middle of the level. He made a race for the Heart at the last minute and found Jigglypuff already there. She met him fiercely just before he could grab the life-replenishing item and smash kicked him in the face before delivering an aerial puff-punch and finishing with a downward split smash attack. Very impressive; too bad she sucks and is a loser because, despite her best efforts, Donkey Kong got the Heart anyway and brought his damage down to zero again.
With a full life of difference between them, Jigglypuff did what she could and made a play for a Pokéball full of reinforcements that just appeared on the top platform of the tower. Donkey Kong gave chase and knocked her a bit with an air twirl, but with her flight ability and prowess in air attacks, Jigglypuff easily knocked the ape aside with a few hits and got to the item first. She jumped down to the floor near the platforms, where she'd laid down the Kong in her race for the Pokéball, and dropped the ball right next to him. When Onyx flew out, it was bad news for DK. A laser sword had appeared just over his shoulder on the lowermost platform, but what with a constant hail of stones and Jigglypuff's flurry of air kicks and punches, he was overwhelmed and couldn't even reach it. DK's damage spiked to a weighty 106% compared to Jigglypuff's 22%, so it looked like things might balance out for Jigglypuff when she grabbed the lightsaber ripoff.
When the avalanche subsided, Donkey Kong jumped through the air and back-kicked Jigglypuff over the awning, and then gave chase to bring the fight to the extreme right edge of the castle. Jigglypuff floated near the awning until Donkey Kong passed underneath it and pulled an ambush by drilling him down to the ground into a downward smash combo, which knocked him far off to the right of the level. She taunted. It looked stupid. I hate Jigglypuff.
DK hovered back to the level with his rotor-like arms and was met underneath the awning with a puff attack to the nose. The punch sent him flying end-over-end up onto the ground under the platforms in the middle of the level. He made for a crate that was standing right next to him, but as he picked it up Jigglypuff did another low split smash attack that made him fly off the level at 178%. Jigglypuff, a life behind and counting in at 49%, taunted him again.
When Donkey Kong made his way back to the level, Jigglypuff seemed to have laid a trap that ended up being about as ineffectual as her attacks so far. She waited for him on the bottom platform of the tower, and tried to put him to sleep with a soporific song when he came by to grab a nearby Pokéball. The hypnotism worked, but Donkey Kong woke up before Jiggly was even done singing. He grabbed the Pokéball containing a Koffin and released it right next to her. The smog attack trapped Jigglypuff and DK let her rack up some damage as he charged up his donkey punch. Then, just as the Koffin's attack was nearly over, Donkey Kong jumped into the air and swatted overhead to knock Jigglypuff screaming into the sky. Donkey Kong had earned another K.O. before even dying once, even with his damage all the way up to 189%.
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