N-Philes

Ian Dunlop, the head of indie dev studio oeFun, is no stranger to N-Philes. Around the release of his breakout title, Konductra, our PR rep Ben Wood and Ian forged a close professional relationship whereby we provided his handheld puzzle game with plenty of coverage, and he provided us with plenty of interview time and feature material. We ended up interviewing him twice about that same game, after which he sent us a copy for review. After months of build-up, the review itself was less than glowing. This presented a prickly situation, because Konductra wasn't just another derivative chunk of software churned out from a monolithic corporation's gaping maw. It was oeFun's first completed project, and what's more, it was Ian's brainchild. His labor of love. Professional integrity aside, it's hard to get away with getting all buddy buddy with a guy and then putting on your business face and calling his baby ugly. Some would call that bad form. Evidently Ian was one of those people.

To his credit, Ian never claimed that we were guilty of foul play, or even that we were jerks, which is amazingly diplomatic given that we really are quite socially repugnant. He did, however, charge us with failing to provide an accurate "snapshot" of the game and suggested that had we shown more interest in the title, it likely would have scored better. Specifically, he charged reviewer Steven DeSiena with spending too little time on the title, and glossing over some review-bolstering modes and unlockables. It was implied that if Steven didn't suck at the game he might have enjoyed it more. Ian didn't request a retraction or second-opinion review, but it was fairly evident that our response should include an offer for just that.

After volleying back and forth through e-mails in an attempt to smooth things over while standing by our review and reviewer, the N-Philes staff gathered in the War Room (Chat Room) to discuss strategy. It was there that rational thought gave way to Internet lunacy and we settled unanimously on the least likely course of action: challenge Ian Dunlop to a Konductra match live from the N-Philes Chat itself. We sweetened the deal with an offer to do a live interview with questions from the N-Philes readership and sent Ben over to deliver the edict. Ian graciously accepted the challenge, and on the 18th of February, he and Steven went head-to-head in a match of his controversial puzzle game.

The turnout was impressive and the pre-match interview went smoothly (read below). The entire chatroom was abuzz as the main event began, excited at the prospect of one of our home-grown heroes going toe-to-toe with an industry giant. Well, a member of the industry, which is nearly as exciting, especially to anyone who knew what Konductra was. After several e-pats on the back, Steven and Ian went silent to engage each other through WiFi.

There was a minute or two of hushed anticipation and predictions of the outcome, and soon Steven and Ian rejoined the chat with the first round of their match completed. Steven's harrowing account of the block-matching bout sounded like a bar room recollection of an alien abduction: colors screaming across his vision, the constant sizzle and crack of lightning strikes, and total anal domination. Nevertheless, a rematch was set, but Steven was spared a second reaming due to a sudden power outage in Staten Island. Ben, who owned the game and had squared off against Ian in the past, stepped up to the plate. This was just for show because Ben got creamed, too. But hey, what can you do? Of everyone in the room who had ever played Konductra, only one of us was there when the code was written.

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