N-Philes

Countless lifetimes after being sealed away by the original Hero of Time, Ganondorf finds himself once again at odds with young boy adorned in a silly green hat. Once again he has successfully manipulated his elven enemy into freeing the Master Sword from its pedestal, thus blindly putting forth his, Ganondorf's, master plan. And once again the boy faces him, Master Sword in hand, to battle for the fate of Hyrule. But this time, it's personal.

After ages and ages spent stewing over his last defeat at the hands of Link and Zelda, Ganondorf hasn't slowed down a step in his thirst for power and willingness to crush anyone who gets in his way to achieve it, but he has had some time for personal reflection. Before whipping out his twin katanas (excellent double-exclamation points on his kimono motif, though they do beg the question of just when and why Ganondorf fell in love with Japanese culture), the former King of Evil, current King of Prose capitivates his guests with a stirring tale of Why Good Wizards Go Bad. While Ocarina was content to operate under the narrow-minded asumption that wizards are just inherently power-hungry, Wind Waker dims the lights and gives Ganondorf's soul the chance to shine.

Apparently, it was the wind. Yes, the wind drove Ganondorf to destroy Hyrule. The Gerudo Desert had harsh, biting wind full of sand; the Hylian wind was cool and perfect for flying kites. And while one might jump to the conclusion that Ganondorf's soliloquy was a half-assed attempt to force a wind theme into every conceivable corner of the game, think about it. Darth Vader: hates sand, sandstorms. i.e. sand... and wind. Blow sand in the face of the wrong guy and he'll up and destroy the universe. Might this also explain the eternal unrest in the Middle East? We'll leave that for another time. Back to our climactic battle.



With the Triforce of Courage awakened within him, Link is confident that his new Hero of Time skills will make sure that this time around, Ganondorf doesn't kick his ass. Of course, with the Triforce of Wisdom found in Tetra-turned-Zelda, and the Triforce of Courage embodied in Link, Ganondorf would need only combine the three to have his wishes granted: the return of the sun shining, the loss of the ocean, and the resurrection of Hyrule, his land to rule over. Which is exactly what he does. Ganondorf makes quick work of Link (again), and then extracts the Triforce pieces from both Link and Zelda, merging them with his own piece and recreating the Triforce as a whole. But while he's caught monologuing like a chump, the King of Hyrule, Daphnes Nohansen Hyrule, touches it first, and wishes for the safe future of Link and Zelda, which happens to involve dropping the ocean on top of them and the last remaining underwater realm of Hyrule. While the ocean engulfs the tower they stand upon, Ganondorf laughs, assuring the King that he has undoubtedly sealed the young children's fate. The end-battle ensues.



With cinematic flair, Wind Waker throws Link into an amazing battle. Unfortunately, the difficulty of the fight runs on par with the rest of game, which in turn means that it is quite simple. While Ganondorf slashes and Link parries, Zelda borrows Link's bow and continuously fires off Light Arrows at Ganondorf. The arrows stun the Gerudo king long enough for Link to move in and strike with the Master Sword. When Capital G wises up to this tactic, Zelda changes strategies and begins firing the arrows at Link instead, who uses his mirror shield to deflect the arrows back at the King of Evil. One quick parry ends the bout, and Link plunges the Master Sword directly into Ganondorf's head, transforming him into stone. With Ganondorf destroyed, the depths of the ocean engulf the pedestal below them, and as Link and Zelda rise to the surface, the King of Hyrule and Ganondorf's stone body are buried in a watery tomb.



Will the King of Darkness return from his watery grave? Will Twilight Princess finally see the destruction of Ganon forever? The launch of Nintendo's revolutionary Wii will undoubtedly bring with it contentment for the Zelda fan base. We will see you again Ganondorf, in the fall of 2006.