N-Philes

Oh, you guys picked a good one. Bounty hunter extraordinare Samus Aran duking it out with the only known last legitimate use of the word "extreme", Captain Falcon? And then you place them on Planet Zebes, the most highly unstable battleground in the game? Things are looking good. And because I've been watching The Incredibles so much lately, I decided to give Captain Falcon a more heroic look to him and changed him to the Blue Team. Then for balance I let Samus take a break from the orange suit and put her on the Green Team for a little Super Metroid flavor. With the match about to start, Samus teleported to the extreme left side of the level, with Captain Falcon hopping out of his ride in the dip of the ground just below her to the right. The lava made its sputtering rumble far below the combatants. This is a really good scene setup.

3...2...1...GO!

Samus tried in vain to get an energy shot off but had to hold back to shield because Captain Falcon was already on top of her with a dashing shoulder check. She blocked it successfully and curled up into a morph ball to roll out of danger. Falcon doubled back to charge Samus again, but once again she blocked, and then jumped up to get away. Falcon wasn't slowing down a bit in his attack, though, and hurled himself into the air to deliver a clockwise bicycle kick to the bounty hunter. Samus wasn't about to be outdone, however, and showed Falcon how they do things in the glamorous world of bounty hunting by countering with an upward drill kick and then a spinning screw attack! The barrage left Falcon on the left platform in a heap while Samus made the best of her time and charged up her mega shot below. Falcon rolled down off the platform to get the drop on Samus, but when he did she let her half-charged shot fire and knocked him back down to the ground. Falcon made another dash towards Samus, and simply she stood still and jacked her iron fist into his face. Falcon at this point was securely on the offensive, and Samus was just as securely playing the defensive game. So far, it looked to be working in Samus' favor.

The racing ace kept pressing the attack, but all it landed him was right in the middle of another screw attack. It seemed every time Falcon went in for a strike, Samus was waiting with a counterstrike ready. Falcon had eaten dirt four times already, so for his fifth strike he brought out the big guns. He hurtled himself through the air towards Samus as she stood on the left edge of the bottom level charging up her laser shot, and let loose with a Falcon punch.

Samus curled into a Morph Ball and rolled under the Captain's assualt, and instead of smashing the hell out of her helmet, he sent himself careening off the left side of the level. He recovered himself quickly enough, and it all worked out pretty well for him, because he finally landed a hit with his return trip and a well-executed HUG ATTACK. I really can't think of any other way to describe that attack of the Captain's. He hugs you and all the love and happiness just boils over and you explode. A bit out of character, but hey whatever works. Hug attack.

The lava had already begun to rise to the point that it might harm anyone on the lower level, so Falcon made his way for the middle platform. Samus followed and was met wit a low sweep kick by the Captain. They began dodging back and forth on the middle platform as the lava tide ebbed and flowed, rising steadily in each successive swell. Samus's damage registered at 52% with Captain Falcon only slightly higher at 60%.

Samus caught Captain Falcon with another upward drill kick that knocked him over to the elevator on the right of the level, and the Captain took another shot at his namesake haymaker. He jumped over to the middle platform where Samus stood charging her shot and let loose a mighty Falcon Punch, but once again Samus curled up and rolled out of danger just in time. The Captain sent himself off the middle platform and down to the center of the level, where the lava had just dipped momentarily and began quickly rising again. He jumped up to the higher point of the middle platform as it rose nearly to meet him, and for the moment he was safe. Samus, who had been charging her shot during Falcon's absence, was standing just low enough to be hit with the rising tide, and she was thrown up through the air, falling onto the very top platform.

Once again Samus proved that defense beats offense, because when Captain falcon pursued her to let loose an aerial attack, she was ready with a low sweeping kick and knocked the Captain far over to the right where he could only recover himself to the very lowest level. He quickly rebounded and jumped up to the top platform where he caught Samus off guard with a downward aerial kick that forced her straight down onto the lower platform. He didn't waste any time once he had her out of her solid defense, and launched into a rapid-fire punch assault. Samus shielded and tried to avoid danger by rolling behind the Captain, but he was too quick for her again and caught her right when she came out of her morph ball with a flaming kick square to the chest. It looked as if the first bricks of Samus' strong defense were coming loose, something that would be essential for Captain Falcon if he hoped to gain the victory today. Samus flew smoldering through the air to the far right, but unfortunately for the Captain tha lava had risen enough to catch him off guard, and at 106% it sent him rocketing off the level to end his first life.

Samus returned easily to the right level from Falcon's previous kick and at 89% she started charging her shot to full capacity. Falcon was revived and Samus tried to capture him in a screw attack, but he was still invincible from his reincarnation. He took advantage of her lobbing herself up like a softball to heave away with an unstoppable Falcon Punch. It was a grand slam that knocked Samus right out of the park and tied the game for Falcon.

"SHOW ME YOUR MOVES!" Yeah that's right, he said it. And he had every right to because that was so totally awesome. Falcon punch: best move in the game. Well, best to actually hit someone with. KER-POW! This fight is superb.

So Samus came back from her trip across the Milky Way and now they start really going at it. Samus jumped back to the right platform and Falcon jumped mid-air to meet her. She backhanded the Captain down to the ground with her metal forearm, and dropped down to meet him on the ground level. Falcon got to his feet and sprinted to charge Samus full-boar, and then while she was incapacitated he gave an axe kick which he followed up with a low sweep. Altogether he brought the bounty hunter's damage to 56% while he only had 8%.

Samus fired her shot to Falcon's chest, and Falcon countered with a fire kick off the right edge. Samus hovered down to the lower platform and then both of them made for higher ground. While Samus was still in mid-jump for the right platform, Captain Falcon gave her a bicycle kick and hit her at an angle that it knocked her completely to the right, far off the stage.

Samus dipped into the rising lava once for a slight charring, but made it back with a screw attack that drove into Captain Falcon. When she stopped spinning, Falcon was jetisoned back into the lava off the right edge of the level. The lava had risen to the height of the elevator at this point, so Falcon was tossed back and forth by the lava five times to bring his damage way up before he made it back. He jumped back with a hug attack and latched onto Samus like a baby koala. While he was holding her helpless, the lava surged upwards and set them both ablaze. Samus couldn't take the damage and was thrown out of the stage, but Falcon barely held onto life at 106%.

Samus started her last life on top of the highest platform, revving up her mega shot. When she was fully charged, she jumped down to the right while Falcon rushed up to meet her, and stopped him midair with a club him on the head that bolted him back to the right platform. While he was stunned from the noggin' floggin' he'd just received, she followed up with a swift smash attack punch that sent him into the edge. She raised her arm in victory for bringing the game back to a perfect tie.

When Falcon came back he came back full force. He slammed Samus to the ground of the right platform with a kick from above and then dropped in front of her while she got up. Samus just starting charging her laser ball defiantely with Falcon right there. Well he put a stop to that with another of those daring bicycle kicks. She recovered from getting kicked before he recovered from executing the attack, and she countered with an aerial downward clubbing and then when he bounced back off the ground she barraged him with a screw attack. Samus was at 28% and Falcon at 37%, both on their last lives.

The lava rose and Samus jumped away to get some elevation on it, but Falcon blocked her attempt as he stretched into a diving kick that forced Samus and himself down into the lava. After a quick ride through the air, Samus fell on the elevator and Falcon on the top platform. He leapt over to the elevator and grabbed Samus by the throat to slam her into the metal elevator. He jumped after her to continue what could be a final assault, but she clubbed him back down to the elevator at the same time as he tried to kick her back down. They both collapsed to the ground, and then rolled up to their feet on opposite sides of the crowded elevator. As could be expected, Falcon was the first to launch back into attack mode. He sweep-kicked Samus into the air and she fell onto the top platform. He then followed her and struck another bicycle kick to the far left. Samus was left at 110% to match Falcon's 65%. By now his hyperactive style of relentless assault had finally worn down Samus' defenses, and it looked near the end for her. She barely made her way back to the lowermost platform, with the lava right on her heels. It quickly receded but looked to flow back to at least consume the lower levels very soon.

Samus played her trump card and started charging up her mega shot in a last ditch effort to get the kill, and Falcon rushed over from the top of the level to finish her off. The lava boiled up quickly and looked about to rise up above both the combatants.

So there on the edge of the stage, with hot magma only inches away, Falcon went for the death blow. He pulled back his fist and let loose a powerful Falcon Punch right towards Samus, but just at the point of impact she fired off her mega shot. The two powerful blows collided and both fighters were jarred for a mere moment. In that moment the lava rose up to reach their ground, and Samus and Falcon alike were thrown by the flames into the stars.

Falcon took a burning but barely clung onto life. Samus, at her high damage, was flown completley off the level. Captain Falcon hadn't achieved the death blow himself, but his relentless attack pushed Samus' damage much higher than she'd been able to dish back, and as a result he stayed alive and took the win. On another level Samus' strategy of relying on defense might have prevailed, but ironically on her own stage a full-on attack made the Captain's day.

Hell of an exciting match if you ask me. Might next week's match with Ness be even hotter? Unlikely! But who knows, it could be pretty intense given the right combatant and stage. See you then.