N-Philes

Game Party thoughts (Wii)

Posted February 21st 2009 by Jacob Barnes.

June 2007. A small group of people sit at a long wooden table in an office in southern California. Today their goal is to decide on a name for their latest game they are developing for Midway. A man stands at one end of the table holding two darts in his hand. On the other end is a dartboard with taped scraps of paper with words like "extreme" "guitar" and "kidz" written on them. The first dart is thrown from across the table and lands on the piece that says "game". He raises his hand to his chin and nods his head in agreement. The second dart is thrown and lands on the name "party". And so it is decided; their next Wii game will be titled Game Party. This is how these fuckers operate over at FarSight Studios.

A part of me is ashamed of myself for buying this, even at $15 with a gift card from Best Buy. I don't normally buy games this bad and I had read some reviews before buying it so I knew what was coming. So basically Game Party is a collection of terrible mini-games. Let's go through these.

Air Hockey

They screwed up this one pretty bad. This game is done from a Pong style side view with human characters on each end. I would've liked the first-person view better myself because it doesn't feel right moving the Wiimote to the side like that. The controls are terrible, and that goes for all of the mini-games I'm going to mention. It looks like the characters have a violent form of Parkinson's. Most of the points come from you or your opponent accidentally knocking it in your own slot because your arm jerk backs too quickly.

Shuffleboard

Boring. You slide a puck to a certain line without making it go over the edge. The controls aren't completely messed up, but it's difficult to control where the puck goes.

Trivia

How could they possibly screw this one up? This one isn't bad, but some of the questions are irrelevant, or they are too specific for certain people who really like sports or Disney show. An example:

Q: How far away was Harry Whittington when he was shot by Dick Cheney?

A: 30 yards

I ended up choosing 20 yards so I guess that means I'm an idiot. Another example:

Q: Dee is 7 years older than her 3-year-old sister, how old is Dee?

A: old enuff, amirite fellas??? Heey-oooooooooo! (the answer was 10)

So you have these impossible questions in the sports/general knowledge categories, and easier ones in the kids categories. You just have to hope the wheel you spin lands on an easy category.

Darts

This one isn't bad. You lock onto the screen with the Wiimote and release A just like throwing a dart. There's even different modes like cricket, 501 and 701 whatever that means. But again, the controls are not that tight.

Skill ball

Isn't this normally called ski ball in arcades? The controls are exactly like the bowling in wii sports and it works, until it gets to the holes at the end. The physics are terrible. You'll see the ball go in several holes at times and even stutter across before it goes into the bottom hole or rolls back out.

Ping cup

Bouncing a ping pong ball into a series of cups. The problem is the ball never bounces into the cups. A child would never be patient enough to learn the weird controls and physics to play this one. And the game doesn't seem to end until you've gotten a ball in all but one of the cups which takes forever.

Basketball

This is like skill ball. Perfect control, bad physics. You throw the ball just like casting a fishing pole. Getting the basketball into the hoop is more difficult. First you have to throw the ball perfectly straight and at the correct speed. If it touches even the slightest outside edge of the rim, it will bounce back out. No, it will bounce to other wall and against the rim, back into the hoop, before shooting straight up into the air again. It's mostly luck.

Is this really the same team that worked on Pinball Hall of Fame: Williams Collection? I don't see how anyone could enjoy this game unless they are a child. I had more fun playing another game I like to call the Wii Menu Screen. But let me state that this is my opinion, and I could be wrong. For this reason I've taken some sample reviews that people over at the popular gaming website walmart.com have written.

4/5 stars

"Fun hours of entertainment

I really liked this game i play it alot its fun, Like your at a real PUB"

-Probably written by a 10-year-old boy.

5/5

"The best game

I really enjoy this game. It keep my attention for hours."

-You heard it here folks: this is THE best game. It keep my attention for hours too.

5/5

hours of fun

"This wii Game has provided my young ones as well as myself hours of fun. It will delight anyone and help inprove your skills. I especially love the the pool game..."

-What pool game?

5/5

Fun game

"I bought this for my children for Christmas; they are 19 and 23. They both love it and say it is challenging but not so difficult that it's discouraging."

-Those kids will be virgins forever.

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